Blog,  Faith,  Fear,  Hope,  Prayer

The Revolving Door

While there are things in life that will only be singular events, there are many more that seem to be on a revolving door. At least, I have found this to be true for me. Something quite recently that I have been reliving again is this whole “waiting for answers” scenario. As if just waiting on one answer weren’t enough, this time around, my husband and I are anxiously waiting to get answers on multiple BIG situations—a possible job opportunity, medical results for a child, more medical results on our other child, our housing situation—the list has really gotten pretty extensive. I always feel like once the “waiting period” for one thing is over and the answers are in, there is a slight calm before the storm of another “waiting period” for BIG things and so on.

If I am honest, there have been times, especially in the last couple of years, where I have asked God for a reprieve and to let things just be quiet for a time. Doesn’t that sound so nice? Nothing exciting happening, just normal and boring life where the most difficult decision is should I take the kids to the children’s museum or the zoo? No huge, life changing events hanging in the balance. Nothing that wakes me up in the middle of the night wondering if I’ll get to see both of my children graduate high school or get married one day. While I have truthfully asked God for this reprieve (from what feels like crashing waves in a storm at times), I can almost immediately sense Him smiling at me, shaking His head, and saying, “Daughter, don’t you trust me? Don’t you know that I have something for you to learn in all of this?”

Today, I am sitting in a pediatric pre-op waiting room. This time, it’s for my 9-month-old daughter. It’s the same hospital my husband and I lived at for over two months while our son fought for his life. We have seen some of the same caregivers and professionals who took care of him. In fact, the exact same provider who did one of our son’s MRI’s is doing our daughter’s today. The smells, the sights, the sounds…they are all too familiar and dig up memories from the past that I would much rather stay buried. My heart seized and my eyes flooded with tears as I watched her fight the nitrous and fall asleep while breathing in the gas, just like our son did. With her tiny little body lying so still on the table, as this three-hour MRI was about to commence, my heart was racing asking God for a reprieve to all of this, praying with all the intentionality I could muster for deliverance from this, that the study reveals nothing, and that this sweet, little girl would endure such a long time of being put under.

You may have heard the saying, “God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.” I would like to take a moment to say that I emphatically DISAGREE with this statement. I believe God gives us EVERYTHING we CAN’T handle because, then, we can ONLY rely on Him to get us through. It is impossible for it to be done on our own strength, and all of the glory goes to God in the resolution of the situation. This also means that we are probably going to struggle with discouragement, fear, exhaustion, and being overwhelmed at some point because our attempts to fix and handle things will inevitably fall short and fail.

So, as I have been living in this state of mind of fear, exhaustion, and overwhelm for all of these big situations, God decided it was time to remind me of some truths that I would like to share with any of you who may be in the revolving-door-part of life right now.

I was listening to the radio the other day, and, almost immediately, God brought this passage in Isaiah 40:28-31 (NIV) to be recited by the broadcaster:

“Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”

This passage of scripture has helped renew my strength so many times throughout my life, reminding me to lean on Him. Right after I heard this, God spoke through two songs—Lauren Daigle’s “Trust In You” and Sidewalk Prophets’ “The Words I Would Say.” When you are done reading this, listen to those songs because they are nothing but truth and exactly what I needed to hear from the Lord. I know they will encourage you, as well.

After getting a steady stream of Scripture, encouragement and truth, the point He was making was pretty clear to me. I need to do more trusting in Him and more leaning on Him. These situations and circumstances are not going to be “poofed” away or ended because they are scary and uncomfortable and I’ve decided I need a break. This is probably going to be true for you, as well. God is growing us through these situations—teaching us perseverance, trust, reliance on Him, and patience.

Sweet Brothers and Sisters, can I encourage you? Don’t pull away and give up when the revolving door (whatever it might be for you) comes around again. Dive in to the Word, talk to the Lord, and let Him fill your cup back up because He is the never-ending source of strength. Hold tight to Him, trust in Him, and hope in Him. Remember that God is sovereign over everything, including whatever situation you might be going through. He has the power to stop the door from spinning, and the wisdom to know if that is not what is best for us, as hard as it may be.

Much love Sweet Brothers and Sisters,

 

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