Faith,  Hope,  Motherhood,  Relationships

Faithful Provider

Are you praying for something so fervently in your life, but you feel like God isn’t listening? Are you in the middle of your season and losing faith that you’re ever getting out of it? Do you hope with every fiber of your being for God to change a situation, but, in actuality, doubt God’s power or that He will ACTUALLY show up and do anything?

If I’m honest with myself, I’ve struggled with putting all my faith, or maybe even any faith, in God to handle things in my life. I’m logical, and I’m a realist. I deduct the best possible outcome and go from there. As a child of God, I am diminishing the amount of overwhelming, abundant, impossible, and supernatural blessings in my life from happening. I have GOD as my Provider, my Healer, my Creator, and I am keeping Him in my compartmentalized box inside my realistic, doubting mind.

I don’t doubt that God is capable of doing the impossible. I believe every story of Him showing up in others’ rock bottoms when there was no way out. The entire Bible is FULL of God’s faithfulness. And I have seen Him provide in the most awesome ways for people in my life. So, why is it so hard for me to believe that He will be faithful during MY rock bottoms—when I need Him to do the extraordinary?

Abraham exemplifies what it means to trust in God’s provision. He and his wife tried their entire lives to conceive a child, but they were unable to, and at this point, they were very old. “God took [Abraham] outside and said, ‘Look up at the sky and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.’ Then he said to him, ‘So shall your offspring be.’ Abraham BELIEVED the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness” (Genesis 15:5-6 NIV, emphasis mine). Not only does God promise Abraham a son in his old age, but he also promises him a nation of sons and generations that would outnumber the stars! Now THAT is God provision. Even if we stopped here, this would be a great story of provision, but it gets better…

Finally, when Abraham was 100 and Sarah was 90, they gave birth to their first son, Isaac. And God said to him, “Take your son, YOUR ONLY SON, WHOM YOU LOVE—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you” (Genesis 22:2 NIV, emphasis mine). WHAT?! You want him to do WHAT? But Abraham was faithful and trusted that God would provide an ulterior option for him to sacrifice instead of his son. Even so, Abraham steadfastly led his son up the mountain, arranged the firewood, put his son on it, and held up the knife to follow through. God stopped him and provided a ram to sacrifice instead. Abraham knew something that made all the difference in the world; he sought God’s desires first. Abraham knew that God would provide, but even if He didn’t, Abraham would have had peace because he sought God’s heart before seeking his own needs.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need” (Matthew 6:33 NLT).

As an unmarried, childless woman at 33, the amount of faith I have that God will provide either a husband or a child diminishes daily. After my infidelity (see my “Fully Known” post), the idea of marriage with my boyfriend seems like an enormous mountain. Trusting that God will provide forgiveness, restoration, passion, and life transformation within our relationship is something that we are working on everyday. Or even scarier, the idea of putting ourselves in a situation where we would fully rely on God to provide someone new! And not just anyone, someone who met the standards one needs for a healthy, passionate, God-pursuing marriage (in our thirties, might I add).

Additionally, I desperately want a child of my own to love and spoil. And Satan keeps reminding me that as I get older, so do the probability of birth defects or possibly even not conceiving. So, needless to say, fear has driven these two areas of my life. So much so that I start to take control of the situation and instead of trusting God will provide in His perfect time.

Do you trust God will provide? Are you scared you’ll be alone for the rest of your life? Are you settling in an unhealthy relationship because you don’t think God will provide better? Do you trust that you’ll conceive a child when the doctors say it’s improbable? Do you trust that God will provide when you get laid off from your job? When you don’t know how you’re going to pay your rent or keep your power on, do you trust that He’ll show up? Do you trust that God is powerful enough, loving enough, capable enough to move your mountains and split your seas?

“But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind” (James 1:6 NIV).

Let me ask you one more question: Are you putting yourself in a situation where God HAS to show up? Everyone wants to see the Red Sea split, but no one wants to be the one standing at the shore with Pharaoh’s army behind them. In what areas of your life do you need to relinquish control to allow God to provide in the only way He knows how—abundantly, extraordinarily, impossibly?

You are a child of God. Therefore, you are worthy of His good gifts as a prince or princess in His kingdom. Don’t ever doubt that about yourself. God loves you SO much! He knows what you need. He knows what you want. And He knows the right time to give it. Trust in God’s provision for your life.

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:11 NIV).

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