• Faith,  Hope,  Pain

    Finding Freedom In The Ashes

    There I was, sitting at a bonfire surrounded by a few girlfriends—all sharing a portion of our story. This week’s topic was forgiveness—or maybe a better title was “unforgiveness”! I had already committed in my head that tonight would be the night! I had come to the realization that I wasn’t hurting anyone but myself by holding on and not forgiving. I was drinking the poison but expecting all those who hurt me to feel the effects.   And finally, it hit me; what was I missing out on in the story God had written for me by being stuck and unable to move forward? I was missing the anticipation…

  • Blog,  Faith,  Family,  Fear,  Hope,  Motherhood,  Pain,  Parenting,  Prayer,  Stress

    The Mother of All Fear

    Fear. It’s a real icky four-letter word. We’ve all experienced it. We’ve all cowered under it. And we have all surely tried our best to overcome it. Dictionary.com defines fear as “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined.” I’d say that’s pretty accurate to what I’ve felt. And I can honestly say I’ve experienced a new depth of fear since becoming a mom. I wish I could say that I get these warm fuzzy feelings when I think about the birth of my little girl. Instead, I look back at it and feel the fear. When Charis came out, she…

  • Faith,  Fear,  Hope,  Love,  Pain

    Who Am I

    She said, “Here you are! Fill it out and bring it back when you finish.” Question one: “Name”… seems easy enough! Question two: “Family member’s names”… no biggie. Then I came to question three: “Use 6 words to describe yourself?” Sounds easy enough, right? Or is it? As I sat there I contemplated, ‘how vulnerable do I want to be?’, ‘what do I really want to share?’, ‘what if they judge me?’. Finally, I chose to describe myself with these words: wife, mother, dental hygienist, student, reader and compassionate. As I stared at the paper and reflected on what those words even meant, I found myself asking: how generic was…

  • Blog,  Holy Spirit,  Hope,  Pain,  Prayer

    From Desperation to Salvation

    This is probably going to be different from any of my other blogs, and I think that is okay. To be honest, I wasn’t very keen on writing this particular one so soon, as we are still getting to know each other, and one’s testimony can be very raw and vulnerable. However, as I kept pushing this subject out of my mind and brought other topics to the Lord, He impressed upon me that this was the one He wanted me to share. So, in obedience, here I am. Let me start by saying that I do not remember very much of my childhood. And I am not talking about…

  • Holy Spirit,  Hope,  Loss,  Pain

    Reflections of Her

    Over the course of the last year, my three-year-old son has befriended an imaginary person. You may think that doesn’t seem too unusual; I mean, many preschool-aged children go through periods of having an imaginary friend. This, however, is no run-of-the-mill imaginary person. This is the woman my son calls “Grandma.“ “Grandma” sounds like an extraordinary woman, to hear my son talk of her—which is constantly. Initially, my husband and I chalked this up as a temporary phase, and, as most phases go, we didn’t expect this one would last too long. First, we made sure that he wasn’t referencing one of his actual grandmothers, which he assured us he…